What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
