I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
