I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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