Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
