Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
