is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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