Only a mothe r could love this liver
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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