so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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