you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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