theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Semen is not good for contacts.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
