i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
