yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
