In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I think my moral compass just broke
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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