pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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