i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
