I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
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