Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
