I wish I only lived at night.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
