K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
