I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
