At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
