Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
