If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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