check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
as a side note pls kill me
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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