Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
