If that was your dad, he is hot
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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