I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i love accidental penises.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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