I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
