Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I will be naked everywhere
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
