I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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