Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
