She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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