is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
