i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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