My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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