That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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