I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
