Define "chronic" masturbator.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
