i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
My balls are so social today.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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