i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
porn star boner night. come get it.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
