I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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