Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
