the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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