having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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