he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
