In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
