Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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