Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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