the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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