Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
