she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
