Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
