Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
