the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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